January 20, 2011
Can I chalk these up to twin-life? Or am I just incompetent? I’m not sure anymore. You do the math.
Confession #1 – A month or so ago, I got the boys up per our regular routine and fed them breakfast. After letting them play for a bit, I picked up Gordon to get him ready for the day. “Yikes! You feel wet” I said, as I carried him into the bedroom to change his diaper.
Suspecting a diaper tab had come undone or gone askew, I unzipped his pajamas to find… nothing. And I mean nothing. Peering down the leg of his footie pj’s, I searched for the missing diaper. Surely it was hiding in there somewhere! Nope. I poked my nose down the other leg. Nothing.
Absolutely no diaper to be found.
I was befuddled to say the least. The only explanation?
I completely forgot to put a diaper on this little guy and he went diaperless the entire NIGHT!
Oh yes, the sheets were wet too.
Looking back, I remember putting a diaper on Spencer – I took care of him first. But in the hustle and distraction of bedtime, I must have subconsciously checked the second diaper off my list. I mean, I did it once, right? So my brain computed both tasks as “done.”
The saddest commentary is that I zipped him up! Ankle to chin (complete with the snap at the top) and didn’t even notice. There he was, free and easy, as I zipped those fleecy footies over his naked little body. And that was how he slept. All night long.
Slap forehead. Shake noggin. Sigh.
I think I need my own job chart for the end of the day.
Feed five kids dinner. Check.
Bathe five kids. Check.
Get out pajamas. Check.
Diaper Spencer. Check.
Diaper Gordon. Oops!
Confession # 2 – I sent this cute girl to school on a non-school day. Yep, I did.
Kindergartners had the day off but the older kids went to school, and somewhere I missed the memo (again) that Eliza didn’t have school. It wasn’t on my calendar. So when the big girls came to pick her up, I sent her out the door. (She told me she didn’t have school that day but did I believe her? No.)
A half hour later I got a call from the front office. “Is this Eliza’s mom? Yes. Eliza is here all ready for school, but the Kindergartners don’t have school today.”
“Oh Really? REALLY? Geesh. I’m so sorry! I’ll be right there.”
Schlep four toddlers into the car, zoom over to school, and rescue traumatized child who stood at the side doors of the school waiting for classmates who never arrived and a teacher who never came to get her. Thank goodness one of the first grade teachers saw her and took pity on her.
Slap forehead. Shake noggin. Sigh.
Confession # 3 – Spent Saturday afternoon in the ER with Spencer. Laceration to the forehead. Now, I know it is likely this would have happened whether I was in the room or not, but the fact is, I wasn’t. And our only eyewitness was Gordon… who wasn’t much help.
I had stepped outside to take a picture of the snowmen Doug and the girls were making when I heard one of the boys crying. “That doesn’t sound good” I said, and hurried inside to find Spencer struggling up the stairs with blood all over his face and hands – so much blood I couldn’t determine the source until we got him cleaned up.
My Dad happened to be on shift that afternoon, so Doug held down the fort while I took Spence to see his Poppa Bob. Spencer was remarkably calm and good-natured. As he watched my Dad whisk around the ER, white coat flashing, doling out instructions to the nurses, he kept saying… “Poppa? (With a question mark.) And then …Poppa. (As a matter of fact.) And then …Poppa? (Again with a question mark.) Grandpa was certainly out of his element. At least the element in which Spencer knew him.
My Dad determined Spencer didn’t need stitches. So he had one of the PAs dermabond the layers of skin together and cover them with steri-strips. Spencer did a fair amount of crying and squirming while they cleaned the wound – I had to hold him down. But when it was over, Grandpa (who wisely choose not to play the bad guy) came in with a hug and a kiss, and a cookie for his grandson.
I owe the ER staff a huge thank you (and Dad too) for taking such good care of this little bubba.
Despite our awesome CSI skills, we haven’t cracked the case yet. We can’t figure out how or where Spencer hit his head. I’d like to think if we were there we could have prevented it. I would have wanted to. But the truth is, we’ll never be able to spare our children every hurt. Even so, it is tough to watch.
Confessions # 4 – 10.
Might as well confess a few other things while I’m at it.
4 – My kids stay in their pajamas all day if we have nowhere to go – and I don’t do their hair.
5 – I’ve been using paper plates for every meal. It’s so much easier. I know it’s extra refuse the earth doesn’t need, but I am recycling!
6 – I’ve been known to eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese with my kids. Fairly often. I choke it down because more nights than not I’m just too tired to muster a real meal.
7 – I’ve been mixing up the boys – especially when they’re wearing the same clothes and I can’t see their faces. I have to make sure I get a good frontal view. (This picture makes me laugh. They weren’t very happy with each other. Can you tell?) Today I walked around the house calling for Spencer, when he was toddling right next to me. You’d think the head wound would be a give-away. Especially for Mom. I know. Go ahead. Shake noggin.
8 – I dislike (strongly dislike!) cleaning two highchairs and trays. It’s my least favorite part of clean-up. Oh! And picking up food from our carpeted kitchen floor. Plech!
9 – I am a determined but tired laundress. Laundry day is Monday and I can only remember one week in all of my laundry tenure that I’ve had everything washed and folded by Friday.
10 – I’ve trained my boys to give me kisses before I get them out of their cribs. Call it forced affection if you want but they do it and it’s very sweet. I’m gonna keep it up as long as I can.
So Twin parents – let’s hear your confessions.
Do twins amp up the state of confusion for you? Can we claim twin-brain or something of the sort? Please… confess all.
Rachel
Well I don't have twins, and I really don't know how you do it. But boy this post made me laugh out loud. I can so relate….on so many levels. Thanks for keepin it real. You are awesome!
knit one, knit two
Oh my, I could have written this post. I once forgot to diaper petunia for a nap only to find soaked jammies and crib (and I detest changing sheets on cribs spesh two of them). One time she managed to strip her diaper off while wearing zipped footies (she's Houdini, that one). Once I couldn't remember freddie's name, calling him by his sister's, brother's and even my parent's dog's name. The joys of mommy brain!
Washing 2 high chair trays, Kiddos in jammies all day, trying to come up with creative meal ideas but breaking out a box of mac n cheese, check check check. I feel your pain sister!
Vennesa
I'm done with diapers now, (Woo hoo!) but we did the no diaper thing twice! Once I did it and once it was my husband. I was so confused! I could not figure out how I could have not noticed when I zipped up his jammies.
Lynn
That is a fabulous story about the diaper! I can relate. My mom jokes that my husband and I are not going to be able to give up our sleep/feeding charts for our babies, and she's partly right – how else could I possibly remember which side either baby last nursed on?? Or what time it was when they went to bed? Or when they last pooped? I leave babies in jammies sometimes – if it's 2pm, and they still haven't gotten dressed, what's the point by then? They don't notice.
Sarah
I've done the diaper thing too, and waited for the bus forever only to find out they all could have slept in (yours was a bit more dramatic), and the whole ER thing, I won't even tell you how many times…thank goodness for your Dad because you know this won't be your last unfortunately.
The kids are so darn cute.
Bonnie
The diaper story made me laugh out loud. I can totally see myself doing that.
jdm
Oh, I adore you already! This made my day and is an awesome reminder that it's alright to be…well, human. Which is wonderful, so thanks.
Jen Meese
Oh, and Mac & Cheese check
Pajama days check
Nearly everything you wrote check
TaylorClan
I have SO many confessions…too many to list. I mix up my boys all the time and they are not identical. I just mix up names and go through the whole list to find the right name. My brain feels addled most of the time. At this point, I don't know how I would get a kid out the door to school…bravo to you for that!
Shells
I love the confessions. H is always telling me things from school that I question her on…she has only been wrong once.
catharvy
Rachel – such a good point. You don't need twins for this to be your life! You just need kids!
knit one, knit two – I hear you! Changing crib sheets is just awkward. I take the whole mattress out of the crib – there's gotta be a better way. Anyone? Loved your stories. So nice to have you reading. And how wonderful that you knit – looks like a therapeutic pastime. Those mittens are darling!
Venessa – Oh thank you. I'm so glad I'm not the only one. And your husband too? I am laughing.
Lynn – Oh yes, the charts! I used an elastic band on my wrist for a while to remember which baby fed on which side. How old are your babies now? That's fantastic that you're still nursing.
Sarah – I'm picturing you standing at the bus stop with all your kids on a non school day, and I'm sorry, but I am laughing aloud. And I'm sure you're right – I've had the premonition: This is only the first of many ER visits.
Bonnie – when you do, email me, will you?
Jen – love the simplicity of your blog. Thanks for your confessions. So nice to know someone else is choking down mac and cheese too!
Meredith – It was one of those days (when I sent Eliza to school). I was teaching preschool and watching someone else's kids for lunch. When I told my friend I would bring my girls to her house for preschool she had to put her hand on my shoulder and say, "Cath… it's at your house." "Oh yeah." Addled. I'm with you.
Shells – Word from the wise (you.) Trust your kid. Thanks.
Lacey
I laughed so hard at this post!! I also relate in many ways…I also get my girls mixed up and have even given them the wrong binki's and put them in the wrong beds only to have my husband show up and tell me I have mixed up my kids!! Some days are definitely better than others!!
The Renwicks
Cath, I dont have twins. My boys are 16months apart and they are the only two i have. My eldest has just turned two and a half – and EVERYTHING on your list of confessions (including the diaper) has happened under my watch. The head wound shrouded in mystery… the laundry… IN the United Kingom where we live washing machines are TINY. I mean 1/4 of the size they are in the US = REALLY… I do two loads a day, at least. I dont like it. Thanks for your honesty – I think you do an amazing job of it and have just the best attitude about it all.
Much Love
Dan
Kimberli
I don't have twins, but I have a good story that happened just last week. I ran to the store first thing in the morning with my two preschoolers. I was in charge of a Relief Society meeting that night and I needed to pick up some things for refreshments. When I checked out the bag boy asked if I like to use the drive up service to load my groceries. I said that would be great and took the kids and headed to the car. I strapped them in to their seats and went home. What else would I do after strapping them in? When I got home I never even thought that maybe I should be getting groceries out of the car. I just went in and got going with my day. TWO HOURS later I remembered the groceries, still at the store. It was bad enough forgetting, but then I had to return and admit that I was the crazy lady who forgot her groceries.
kathunter
Okay, I've never done the diaper thing but there are several items on the list that I have done and I don't have twins!
Hang in there! By the way we didn't get a holiday card out to you guys because I wasn't sure of your new address. I'm going to dig through my office and try to find your email address so I can try to confirm. Sorry for the delay!
Megan
The only confession you'll get from me: I do all those things with just 3 kids and none of them are twins.
But I LOVED the diaper story. I'll have to give that one a try… 🙂
Erin
I forgot to diaper Ella once after a dinner date and she peed in the car seat on the way home. Same reaction. Today my daughter made it into the elevator before I did and the doors closed on her. Luckily it didn't go anywhere and I got her out of the elevator by clicking the button.
catharvy
Lacey – oh yes, wrong binkis all the time. In fact, I gave up on that one! And wrong beds. Done that too! Thanks for your comment. Glad to find you here.
Dan – I adore your beautiful blog. And thanks to you, I'm feeling content with my "large" loads of laundry! 16 mos. apart is pretty close to twins. Bless you!
Kimberli – Oh man. I would have done exactly what you did! I've never left all of my groceries . But I have left bags at Target, gallons of milk under the cart and just last night I realized my bag of cheese, tortillas, and yogurt never made it home. It's probably still in the parking lot. Sigh… Loved your story!!
Kathleen – you can email me at [email protected] and I'll get back to you. We'd love a card!
Megan – your words are comfort. Thanks for confessing.
Erin – Oh yes, the elevator trauma. It happened to Eliza in the mall, she went up to the next floor by herself, was too afraid to get off (thank goodness) and Doug called her back down. Ella's diaper story I think tops Gordon's!
EKW
The diaper thing is so funny! I have not done that yet (at least that I remember). I am with you on the pj's all day, chicken nuggets for dinner, and massive amounts of laundry. I really need to do two loads a day. I hate putting it away though! Good thing about pj's all day is it does lessen the laundry load a little.
KESLER KREW...Cami
"The saddest commentary is that I zipped him up! Ankle to chin (complete with the snap at the top) and didn't even notice. There he was, free and easy, as I zipped those fleecy footies over his naked little body. And that was how he slept. All night long"
i laughed out loud for at least 3 minutes 🙂
i dont have twins but here are a couple of mine…
– when i had a walk-in closet in denver, i use to lock myself inside sometimes…by sitting against the door…i would even take a pillow with me.
– i sometimes put my kids to bed at 6pm…throw a couple toys at them and turn off the lights
– i cry like a baby after tough days if cameron doesnt bring me a nice cold cup of water with pellet ice when im snuggled and all ready in bed…it's like my reward and crunching on ice is good therapy
– i hit the door with my fist last week because i was so ticked that my house could actually be dirty again, when i had just cleaned it…and it left my fist indentation in the door (fyi…it is a pretty pathetically generic door…)
– one of jillian's first words was "stinky" because that is what i would say everytime i changed her diaper.
peace sista!
*cami
cristie
😉 xox
Mandy
Cath, I love you. This was hilarious. And it made me realize that everyone has those "Super Mom" moments. Most of mine involve disasters that happen while my back is turned. So far at my parents house he has managed to smear poo on the carpet, turn over a bottole of baby tylenol and throw an entire roll ot TP into the toilet. Oh the joys…and this is just with ONE child! If I am ever blessed with more, I imagine life will just get more interesting.
catharvy
EKW – profound insight. More pj's = less laundry. Now there's a positive cycle. Are you gearing up for tax season yet?
Cami – locking yourself inside the closet door – genius! You're cracking me up with all your confessions. A fist against the door, crunching ice, lights out at 6. You so get it. Thanks for making me laugh my dear!
Cristie – I know. You get it too.
Sweet Mandy – hello friend! Wow. You're getting your fair share of practice with patience. The potty stuff just throws you right to the edge, yes? It does me. Good thing he's so darn cute! Miss you.
Frau Mahlzahn
Oh, well… Uh. I have three kids, none of them twins… and my confession list would be so much longer… (Including mixing up their names… Marie? Uh? Moritz, no, I mean Annika!)
Here's one question: you wrote "schlep the kids to the car" or something along the line — does the "schlep" come from the German "schleppen", which means to drag? Just curious.
Thanks for you E-Mail, btw.!
So long,
Corinna
Anonymous
Couldnt agree more with that, very attractive article
Anne Marie
ABSOLUTELY loved this post. Thanks so much for lightening my evening! I locked my twin babies in the van one time along with my purse and cell phone (this was 5 years ago). My other boys were at school, and I was in tears because I couldn't leave them unsupervised to go call someone for help. Finally, a neighbor happened to come by and she called AAA who came and unlocked my van. Thank goodness it wasn't hot or I would have had to break a window to get in to them.
When my twins were toddlers, I was in the middle of doing some ironing and left the ironing board out for a bit (thankfully I remembered to put the iron out of reach). My little guy pulled on the board and it fell on his foot…lots of blood and I had to take him in for some glue to close up the wound. Ugh!
I have lots more….but my guys are wrestling in the room and need some help to settle for the night. Thanks so much for sharing your great stories! We all relate.
Anne Marie
Forgot to mention with my first story that I was in the grocery store parking lot when I locked my babies in the van…the story makes more sense with that detail. Thanks again for sharing bits of your life with us!
Melinda
You just made me feel so much better. My three are singletons who look NOTHING alike and I mix up their names 90% of the time.
When I ask them to get dressed they ask, "Where are we going?"
And most meals, I sit on the floor and feed my toddler in my lap because I hate scrubbing down just one high chair THAT MUCH.
catharvy
Corinna – schlep means precisely that "to drag" – from the German. Thanks for called me out on that. We just use it here in America without thinking where it came from!
Ann Marie – Oh I know the terror. I locked all three of my girls in the car on a warm day (and the keys!). One fire truck, two policemen, and thirty minutes later my husband came careening around the corner with our spare set of keys. It was that or bust out the window to our new Honda Odyssey! The fire chief had given my husband one more minute.
I'm so glad your neighbor happened by. Sounds like a heavenly gift. Thanks for your story.
Melinda – Sitting him in your lap – you MUST hate cleaning high chairs as much as I do! If only I had two laps!! Love your beautiful photography. And your darling boys!
Tricia
Yes, Yes, and Yes. I need to come up with my own list one of these days. And, um, we've been almost 100% paper products for over 3 years… I've decided my gratitude for such creations has to make up for some portion of the ocean we're clogging when the accounts are drawn up in the end.
Marti
Wow, what a trooper you are. I have a 5 year old, 2 year old twin girls and one on the way, and feel like I do not have it together! I am impressed that you managed to only forget one diaper. You really are inspiring! I loved your interview you did for the Mormon Women Project! Great perspective!
LizzyP
It's great to share confession in a fun forum rather than in the family therapy sessions I have nightmares about attending with my kids!
My confession is that I'm pretty sure I never came close to needing an anger management course before having kids. And having twins only provided the sleep deprivation that reminded me of that often.
Oh, and has anyone else confessed to having really poor dental hygiene since having twins? Just wondering.
lauren
This is my first time commenting, but I've been following your blog for a couple of months now. I am Heather Gillespie's sister-in-law, and Eric Morgan's cousin. Do you remember meeting me in VA several years ago? Anyway, I love finding blogs by moms who are also writers. My blog is lauren-gillespie.blogspot.com if you're interested!
MissMel
Great confessions, Cath, but Kimberli's grocery confession tops all of them. A Mom's life is always an adventure.
TaylorClan
I thought of another gem. I was at my mom's visiting with fam and my boys were quiet for 1 minute-that's it. Then scary crying erupts from one of them. They got into the bathroom found a bottle of clorox bathroom cleaner (luckily not bleach based) and were squirting eachother-oh what fun! The crying starting when John got squirted in the eye…I felt like the mother of the year when I called poison control and explained:)
catharvy
Tricia – good point. I'm going to play the gratitude card!
Marti – oh my – your story is too close to home! I hope you'll continue to read and share your thoughts with us. Blessings as you bring your new baby into your family. Joy and Hard all at once. Thanks for commenting.
Liz – anger management, yes. poor hygiene in general? yes. Those early days I would be getting ready for bed and realize I hadn't looked in the mirror all day, let alone brushed my teeth!
Lauren – how wonderful to hear from you! Of course I remember you. That was a fun connection. Love Heather, Love Eric. I'm so glad you linked to your blog. Wonderful writing. I'll be returning again!
Mel – true that. she has me beat.
Meredith – your bleach story is crazy! "I felt like the mother of the year when I called poison control and explained." Those moments have a way of keeping us humble, don't they?
Nikita
As always, YOU are my hero and I admire you greatly. Keep up the good work; your mansion is heaven is gInormous! 😉
Cindy
I HATED cleaning the high chairs & surrounding floor with our triplets. I thought it was going to make me insane. I don't know how you're doing it with carpet! The good news is that my triplets will be 11 this summer and it's all a hazy memory now…