June 10, 2010
I said “NO” so many times yesterday, the fact that I wrote this article makes me laugh. Around 6:00 PM last night, neighbors could have heard Eliza screaming at the top of her lungs while I grapled with her outside until, finally victorious, I dragged her into the house kicking like a wind-up toy. She had hit her sister (unprovoked) and I had seen it (unbeknownst to her). She spent the rest of the evening in her bedroom until she went to sleep. Sami and Ali kept falling apart – tearful over things like the color of their cup and a fork falling off the table. The long days of summer, swimming lessons, and no naps finally nipped us in the behind.
I was out of patience. They were out of sorts. And together, we were pretty much out of commission.
Obviously, I am a work in progress – never lacking in lofty ideals – but ever slugging along. Yesterday? It was two steps back.
But I still love the idea of saying yes. Yes to those first fragile moments when I see my children’s imaginations ignite. Yes when I want to curb, cut-out, or cut-short – just to spare myself some clean-up.
Lately (not yesterday) I’ve been saying yes to this.
And this.
And this.
Yes to mud pies, more walks outside, and spiders in the refrigerator (you’ll have to read about that one). I wrote about my experience with saying yes over at Power of Moms a few weeks back. Join the discussion there if you’d like. Or answer a question for me here.
Do you find yourself saying “No” a lot? Is it hard for you to say “Yes”? When you do, what have you noticed about your children… and yourself?
cristie
"I was out of patience. They were out of sorts. And together, we were pretty much out of commission."
you are such a good mama. xox
Marci
Cathrine, I have learned int he past few years that the yes' come more often. You just have to make it through the hard not so fun "no" years. They think they are are bigger and more prepared for things than they are.
With janece getting ready for 9th grade and Zack 5th and Beca 4th we have found a great balance between what they think they are ready for and what they are ready for. Just hang in there!! It gets better I promise and I assure you you are not the first to have a no day,week,month. =) You are a great mom and we miss you guys!! Love you Marci
bostonshumways
Catherine, you are so wonderful. I have been thinking about your article ever since I read it a few weeks ago. I love how you pointed out the connection between fun and mess…..life is messy with small children, and once I come to terms with that and quit being so mad about it and realize how fun messy really can be everyone is much happier.
catharvy
Cristie – thanks my dear.
Marci – I can't believe Janece is going into 9th grade! My sweet little sunbeam on the front row in primary! Thanks so much for your thoughts. We miss you too!
Saydi – "quit being so mad about it" – I hear you. It's a continual struggle for me. It's a hard one – to embrace the mess – but I think we can get better at it. You're a huge inspiration to me! Thank you!
Michelle
I am a 'yes' mom– but it gets crazy around here!
So nice to see you yesterday!
xoxo, m
catharvy
Michelle – likewise! it was a gift to see you and chat yesterday! It's no surprise you're a yes mom. We need to hang out more. I can tell I would learn a lot from you!
swensen squeeze
Thanks for the reminder!!
April Perry
Thanks for all your encouragement, Catherine! There was this one quiet moment at the Retreat (yes…it was only quiet once for me!) and I thought, "Catherine needs to be here. We need her contributions!" Can't wait to see you at the next one!